Social Media Nostalgia & Getting Back to Our Teenage Selves with Kristen Felicetti

Kristen: 00:00:45

It sounds sad, but I don't really have any hobbies that are like not just like writing and reading.

Emily: 00:00:49

Yeah, reading is like my only hobby also. I always tease myself about that, that it's the only thing I do.

Hello and welcome to It's a Lot. A podcast about things that are a lot.

a and parenthood are a lot in: 2025

I'm your host and I'm going to be chatting with Kristen Felicetti today. Kristen is the author of the novel Log Off.

For over a decade she edited the literary magazine the Bushwick Review and she's based in Rochester, New York.

If you enjoy hearing from Kristin today, make sure you follow her on Instagram at Kris K-R-I-S, 10 the number 10, Felicetti, F-E-L-I-C-E-T-T-I, and you can buy her debut novel Log off wherever books are sold or grab it from your local library.

Depending on when you listen to this episode, you might be able to catch Kristen and I at Writers and Books on June 7th at 3:30pm. it's an event to celebrate the one year anniversary of her novel's release and it is going to be a little bit unconventional. We're going to have some fun and play literal games. If you are not in Rochester, it's a hybrid event so you can join us on Zoom.

All the details are available on the Writers and Books website, wab.org events. Kristen, welcome to the show.

Kristen: 00:02:12

Thank you so much. Emily. That was a great intro.

Emily: 00:02:16

I'm so glad to have you here. Let's just start talking about life. Life is a lot these days. What's on your mind? What's overwhelming you lately?

Kristen: 00:02:25

Oh yeah, life is, you know, there's a lot going on in the world. A lot going on in like politics. I feel like the question is like, what has me overwhelmed.

I think, you know, to be honest, I guess we're gonna start things a little, a little existential and dark. But I think for me it's just been like, you know, getting a little bit older and being like, you know, you're like potentially approaching midlife.

What does that look like? What does that look? What does aging look like?

What is like the second half of life like, you know, how do you continue to find like joy and excitement when you know that it's going to come with some loss? So that's that's what's been overwhelming to me to think about.

Emily: 00:02:59

That is really an existential way to start us off. Thanks for that. Wow. Yeah. I just gave a talk at the library about death recently, so I've also been thinking about existential questions.

Do you feel like. I know, not to jump ahead to your book, but a little bit jumping ahead.

Ellora, the main character, doesn't feel like she has models of actresses who are Asian American. Do you feel like you have models of, like, aging women? You look up to things, you know, to like, expect in your future that you want to emulate?

Kristen: 00:03:26

Yeah, like, like, kind of like heroes and stuff. I feel for me, I think someone that, like, is that, like, that's like a, like an icon is like Patti Smith, because I'm not sure what.

What age, but she has, you know, she. She has lost a lot of big people in her life, but she still seems to.

If you ever see her perform or talk about art, there's still so much you can tell.

She has almost like, a childlike excitement for things while still being, like, clearly, like, such a dignified person, an artist, a mother, you know, I don't know. I think, I think she's amazing.

Emily: 00:03:54

It's hard to keep that childlike excitement as we age. But, like, having a baby now and seeing his wonder at everything definitely inspires me to, like, feel that wonder again.

Kristen: 00:04:02

Yeah, definitely.

Emily: 00:04:03

I'm curious how you're finding joy or just like, coping with the state of things lately.

Kristen: 00:04:08

Yes. I, you know, I really love people and like, the people in my life.

So kind of just making sure to spend time with them and spend meaningful time with them and, you know, just like, kind of, I think also being really.

Since it's about, like, Log Off, being, like, really present with people when you're there, you know, trying not to be on your phone if you're hanging out with friends or, like, making the effort to, like, really say, like, thoughtful things to them or, you know, travel to visit them if you don't live in the same place.

Emily: 00:04:32

Yeah, life is short. We gotta do it. Get out there.

I know we both enjoyed social media and we'll talk more about social media, but definitely the in person stuff is so valuable too. So I, as you know, of course, have a baby. My baby's about the same age as your book baby. Yeah.

I want to hear all about, like, the labor of love that was releasing this, like, what's it been like to see it get out into the world and start to find readers?

Kristen: 00:04:56

I think it's been amazing. I think we may talk about this, but we did at the beginning, did, like, a whole tour for it, and that was great.

Once again, speaking about connecting with people, I think that's one of the most exciting things about publishing a book is, in a way that, you know, being a writer can be, too. But I think it's just like a level up in the way that you can kind of connect with other writers who have published books or other readers.

So doing that whole tour was amazing. That was a way to find, you know, more readers.

But then also I think the other thing is, you know, it has almost been a year since the book has come out, so it's like.

And it's not an indie, so it's like, it's kind of not that thing where it's like, oh, this is a book that all media talks about for two or three weeks, and then it's, like, gone. Right. It kind of actually needs time to build a readership. And I kind of. There's kind of things that I've seen just happen now.

You know, it's like people have reviewed it on Goodreads and I have no idea who they are. And so they found the book somehow or, you know, just like, even though, like, it's. Yeah, I feel like I've done something for the book.

Even though it's like eight or nine, ten months, like, later, like, almost every month either, like, talking to a school, being on this podcast, doing a reading. So that's been really great. It's had, like a. It's had, like, a longer life than I actually even might have guessed.

Emily: 00:06:04

That's amazing. What kind of responses have you gotten from readers? Do people share, like, personal stories and reactions to it?

Kristen: 00:06:11

Yeah, I'm trying to think, like, you know, just kind of like. I think a lot of people. A lot of people that have shared have been like, you know, millennial age. So they're like, oh, my God.

I'm like, you know, this is so nostalgic for. For me.

And then, you know, people like, yeah, I think just in general, like, I think everything from, like, the Internet aspect to, you know, some of the.

More like, teen, like, hard growing up things, you know, if it was like, oh, like, somebody told me that, like, their mom had abandoned them similarly, as, like, Ellora's. And that's, like, a really, a personal thing to share. But I. I live for that stuff. Right. Like, I think that's.

That's, you know, that's like, people kind of sharing their own, like, experiences and how they connect to a book or art.

Emily: 00:06:47

Was that someone telling you that in person or was that online?

Kristen: 00:06:49

That was in person actually, like after.

Emily: 00:06:51

It's so easy to overshare online sometimes. But I'm glad people like open up about those things in person too.

Kristen: 00:06:55

Yeah, yeah, definitely.

Emily: 00:06:57

Before we get any, like, deeper into the weeds of the book, why don't you give us the elevator pitch for Log Off in case listeners have not heard about it yet.

Kristen: 00:07:03

Yeah. So Log Off is a coming of age story kind of set against the backdrop of the Internet's own, like adolescents are coming of age.

b in like early, in the early: 2000

But she also has this situation that's kind of unique where her mom abandoned her six years ago and she is raised by like her mom's ex boyfriend, Brian. And all these things she writes about in her live journal, which was an early blogging platform. And that is the format that the book is written.

Emily: 00:07:43

Shout out to Brian, we'll talk about him later. You know, he's my underrated, favorite, favorite character. Gotta love him. So I want to hear about the process of finding a home for Log Off.

You spent how long writing it? Like years and then you found a home at an indie publisher. So tell me about that journey.

Kristen: 00:07:59

Yeah, so I went like kind of the traditional route to try to publish this book, which is if you don't know, it's like kind of querying an agent and like got pretty far right, you know, like it was cold querying. Got like the full manuscript request and the personalized full manuscript rejection.

And so there's like a lot of things like, you know, I had my whole spreadsheet and there are like a lot of things that were kind of in like fires, you know, like irons in the fire. But then this kind of opportunity came up where my friend that I knew through literary stuff, Lucy K. Shaw, she after doing a lot of publishing of a magazine, started a book press. She'd come out with a few books. She knew I had this book and so she asked me to send it to her.

And you know, like within a week I think she, she actually sent me like this really amazing voice memo. It was kind of like everything she loved about the book, everything she got about it.

And I think that kind of made me realize like, you know, kind of a. I don't know. You know, I could wait more and maybe I would have gotten agent, but, like, this kind of felt right.

I think it's just, like, just this person that really got the book and also that I was friends with and became even greater friends with, and I knew I would enjoy working with, which I think is very amazing, too. And, yeah, I mean, it was 100% the right choice.

I think another thing that's been great about publishing with her is, like, you know, she went on our whole tour and everything. Like, that's commitment, but even things. Like, she is just, like, a lifelong advocate for the book. Like, I.

I went to did this, like, school thing in the Bronx, and the reason I got to do it is, like, she saw it on someone's stories and was like, oh, you should message this person. So really great.

Emily: 00:09:22

That's amazing to have, like, a real human looking out for you on that level and just seeing Instagram stories and thinking of you for it. Yeah, I. Yeah. I'm glad you found such a good home for it and someone who got it. Yeah.

Kristen: 00:09:33

Shabby Dollhouse shout out!

Emily: 00:09:35

So I know this podcast, of course, is about things that are a lot, and the emotions of a teenage girl can be a lot. The book you mentioned has heavier themes with a mom who abandoned her. And not to spoil things, but 9/11 does come up at the end of the novel.

So how did you get in the headspace for writing this? Did it, like, feel like escapism from the shit show of the last several years, or was it still, like, heavy to get into?

Kristen: 00:09:59

A little bit of both, I think. Like, I can be kind of sort of detached about, like, the thing I was like, oh, I don't know.

I'm not gonna get emotional, but I actually kind of did some. Some stuff kind of did feel, like emotional to write, I think. And I think it was.

It is like creating the voice of that character was really, really fun. And it's so much that I don't think I could do it anymore. It just feels like of a time.

But I think one of the questions that I get asked the most is like, kind of, oh, how did you get back into that? Like, it's so teenager y. And I'm like, it's not that hard for me. Like, I think compared to other people that are probably in their 30s.

Like, I think it's.

You know, I've obviously grown and matured, and I have a mortgage now and all that stuff, but it's like, there's something that's always so easy to get back to, where it's like, you know, you can just remember, like, how intense you felt about your friends or, like, just if somebody slighted you, like. And, like, you know, sometimes I still kind of feel like I have, like, a very sarcastic attitude towards things.

And you just are, like, a passion for art or music, the way that's almost teenage intense. And you just kind of. I think you just kind of have to exaggerate that a little. Little bit. And then you're. You're.

You're pretty much almost back there. I kind of think everybody does a little bit. People are. Some people are just better at hiding it than others. I'm not as good at it.

Emily: 00:11:04

I was just gonna ask if it's, like, a certain type of person.

I feel like that could be me, too, because those, like, deeper emotions are just under the surface of, like, feeling petty or slighted or, like, remembering those old hurts and definitely big feelings. We all have them.

Kristen: 00:11:19

Yeah, exactly. Every. We all do. And we all. We all had an adolescence, so you can see that in anybody, no matter what age or how together they seemingly seem.

Emily: 00:11:28

Did you listen to any music to help you get into that mood? Because I know there are a lot of musical references in the novel, too.

Kristen: 00:11:33

Yeah, I think so. I don't really listen to music while writing, but the music that's, like, cited in the book was, like.

You know, I did listen to, like, Fiona Apple and Elliot Smith, and it's not as big as part in the text as, like, in the final book, but, like, Radiohead too. That was kind of a jumping off point. Like, my boyfriend went to a Radiohead concert and he was, like, kind of telling me about it, and I was like.

I was like, kind of maybe want to get back to, like, listening to them. And that kind of, like, put me in the mindset of the book.

Emily: 00:11:59

We've been playing Radiohead for our baby to go to bed at night a lot. He's a little Radiohead fan.

Kristen: 00:12:03

Amazing.

Emily: 00:12:04

I'm doing a lot of Bohemian Rhapsody lately, too, which is fun to sing along to. Those are.

Kristen: 00:12:08

Those are great, great things, I think, to introduce them early. Yeah.

Emily: 00:12:12

So you mentioned the book tour that your publisher joined you for. I know you had some dates abroad as well, like in London, I think it was. And you were in Germany and France as well. What was that like?

Did they have different reactions to the book than Americans do?

Kristen: 00:12:26

Ye. I think I was kind of interested in that. Right.

Like, one of the first readings we did that was before the even book came out, was actually in a Lisbon, Portugal. And most of the people in the audience, like, it was like they were European of some kind and English was maybe their second language.

And I was like, I don't know how well this is going to go over, but it did actually, like, I think, like, the humor carried over and people got it. So I was really happy about that.

I think it's just maybe once again, it's kind of a universal thing where it's like, you know, everybody sort of adolescence is hard and cringe and stuff for everybody. But also I think it is such like an American, like high school type thing. And I think a lot of people have seen that from the movies.

And I think the other thing that was.

The other thing that was interesting about tour was I was also in the way that we did like our tour so that it was like usually a lineup of four or five readers. And in the European ones in Berlin or like London, I was often the only American.

I think that was actually the most like, distinctive thing where it's like, you know, not that it was like equally well received, but it was like this one, like, German girl came up to me after in the Berlin one, and she was just like, you know, there was someone from, you know, Brazil and someone from like, you know, London. And then she was like, you came up there and you like, you know, like, hi. And you're like, oh, this is the American reader.

And I was like, kind of like laughing, but she's. No, I loved it. I loved it. I loved it how everything was like, so different.

Emily: 00:13:37

What was so, like, distinctly American about you? Did they say anything in particular?

Kristen: 00:13:42

I don't know. I mean, I think, you know, like, I think just my speech, you know, like, I'm like, hi. And like, I've riddled with like, likes and such.

But even like, you know, the part that I read, it's. It's like the story like the Fiona Apple story in the beginning. And it's like a classic, like American in like high school.

And it's literally about like how she has to do a presentation on an American historical figure. So is quite American.

Emily: 00:14:02

Yeah, that checks out. Did anyone bring up like 9/11 and the ending there or was it not really touched?

Kristen: 00:14:08

I don't know because I don't know necessarily of those readers have read the book, you know, So I don't know if they know if they got the ending. They were just kind of being intro to it and maybe buying it there.

But yeah, I'd be curious as to what the reaction of that is, because if you're, like, you know, of a certain age here, it's a defining moment, but it might not be as much if you're. If you grew up in another country.

Emily: 00:14:29

And sitting here in: 2025

Kristen: 00:14:38

Definitely.

Emily: 00:14:40

So talking a little bit more about the social media side of things, since the novel is written in the livejournal format. I know in other interviews you've said that the Internet back then was more empathetic.

Can you talk a little bit more about what you mean about how it was more empathetic online back in the day and what's changed since then?

Kristen: 00:14:57

I think, like, you know, I think things have changed still.

a lot of this novel in, like,: 2019

I mean, for lack of a better word, like, content then.

And so the way that people reacted to it was very much more like, yeah, I feel the same way, or, like, kind of caring, or even if you had a disagreement, it kind of felt a little more like you could kind of come to a pass. But I don't know. I almost think that's kind of changing again.

he internet was around, like,: 2019

And, like, maybe have kind of had enough of, like, just sort of the having a very mean hot take or something, or clap back. Yeah, yeah.

Emily: 00:15:55

It's still messy out there.

Kristen: 00:15:56

Messy out there.

Emily: 00:15:57

Like, just the other day, Wendy's was saying, send Katy Perry back to space. So, wow, that is. I saw people on LinkedIn critiquing that and saying it was too mean even for Wendy's, but I was like, I don't know.

Everyone's hating on this Blue Origin flight. Like, I'm not mad about it.

you were online in the early: 2000

Kristen: 00:16:24

Yeah, I think, like, in, like, LiveJournal, like, I, you know, I never really, like, I didn't get as close to people as, like, Ellora does. Like, I didn't call people on the phone and such. But, you know, it was kind of. You did have your group of people that were your.

On your friends list and you commented it on each other's stuff. I think I did also send things in the mail occasionally to each other sometimes, like zines, things like that. So, yeah, it was kind of like just a.

Like a community where you kind of were interacted with like, a lot of. Of, like, different people. And there were some people that were, like, older. But, you know, it was never.

I never really felt like it was like, a suspect situation or anything. They were. They were clear and honest about that. And the other people were all also teenagers.

And I think what's funny is, even though I have lost touch with a lot of them, I have no doubt that they actually were like, teenagers, too. I do not think that in any way that there was, like, some sort of catfishing.

Emily: 00:17:10

No catfishing happening. No. Yeah.

Kristen: 00:17:12

Because you also be able to totally, like, suss it out, you know, I think.

Emily: 00:17:15

What were the green flags that made. You know, they're not catfishes.

Kristen: 00:17:19

It's hard to say, like, I think, but I think it's, like, referenced in the book. It's just like, she's just like, only another fellow teenage girl will be able to speak like that, you know, like, the way that I do.

And I think it's about, like, speech and, like, what you're making.

A lot of people were making art, too, and so I think that would have been, like, very hard to fake or just even the way that you narrated about your day on livejournal.

Emily: 00:17:37

I feel like that level of openness is gone to some extent. Like, that vulnerability. We have more of, like, a fake vulnerability now that people are kind of projecting, like, oh, I'm being so authentic.

Here's me being sad, but it's like a performed sadness. I don't know if you've noticed that too, or.

Kristen: 00:17:53

Definitely. I feel back in the day, you could kind of just, you know, like, you could write, like, a long.

It is not like there's no sort of, like, you're not, like, crafting it well.

It might just be like, a long entry where you kind of wallowed in your feelings and you're not really, like, seeking anything out besides to express yourself. But now I think, you know, like, people there Is like, a lot of talk about being authentic online now.

And I think that's a hard thing to chase because unlike 20 years ago, we have, like, the whole history of the Internet in our heads. And so what is authentic and what is not authentic, you always have that in your head.

So even if you're trying to be real with your raw photo dump on Instagram, it's. I don't know how authentic is it, really. It's still.

There's still a lot of thought behind it and how you're portraying yourself in the way that I think was not a bigger thing there because you also didn't have as many followers back then either.

Emily: 00:18:38

I definitely see that with my students, too, at the college I teach at, that they all are a little bit shy to post things because they think that they could get canceled or that they'll be judged. And, yeah, they really curate the things they post and are kind of cautious about how they approach it.

Kristen: 00:18:52

Totally. And, like, I think that that didn't exist either. Right. As much anymore.

I think, like, back then, I think, like, at the end of the book, there's something that kind of happens that's like, almost a discourse starting. And, you know, that just wasn't a thing back then, but it's all. It's everything now, kind of.

Emily: 00:19:07

Have you seen any, like, particularly mean interactions online lately? Or things that are just totally lacking in empathy?

Kristen: 00:19:13

You know, I don't. I mean, yeah, all the time, I think, but I could. I'm totally blanking on, like, a particular example now. I mean, clearly you decided. 1.

Emily: 00:19:22

I was just thinking about Instagram comment sections, too, because I feel like on TikTok, people are so funny in the comments and you, like, run to the comments to see all the jokes. And then on Instagram, people are just, like, dog piling on the person posting it or, like, fighting each other tooth and nail.

But you were also saying you think that people don't want to be as mean online and are, like, pushing back against that.

Kristen: 00:19:41

So, yeah, I don't know, but there's still a lot. I thought of one example, but this is like. Like, if you watch, like, the Last of Us, right?

Like, people have just, like, so piled on, like, the actor that's playing, like, Ellie and, like, so much that they had to, like, delete their social media, I think. And they're just, like, so unnecessary. Like, you know, I mean, their person, they can see that, right? Even though they're a famous, famous actor.

It's not the same as maybe you and I, but There's feelings. So that's. That's something. It seems unnecessarily mean.

Emily: 00:20:05

Yeah. I don't know why people are like that, thinking of like, meanness on social media.

Do you ever get tagged in mean reviews of your book or do you see like negative ones on Goodreads and stuff like that?

Kristen: 00:20:16

Not yet. I have not got tagged in anything negative, but you know, it's probably coming. But there have been like some.

There have been actually super mean reviews.

There's been like, I think like mid reviews and I don't know, but I actually, you know, I know people usually say that like, oh, don't read your reviews or whatever, but I read all of it.

Like I'm, you know, I think, yeah, it's not that it wouldn't hurt my feelings reading a bad review, but I think it's just so amazing that like that somebody just chose to like, read your book and not only that, but had some thoughts about it that they had to post online. I think that's kind of cool even. Even when they might not be loving the book or something.

Emily: 00:20:51

I don't know if I could take it. I haven't been writing much lately since, you know, pregnancy and baby. But I did have some short stories published online for a few years and it.

Even now, just a few years after they've been published, I feel so vulnerable. I'm like, I. I don't want to be seen like that. Like, this is fiction. But I still like, it feels very.

Kristen: 00:21:08

I get that though. I mean, I think that, you know, it's. Once again, I'm still, I'm saying that and like, you know the one.

It's like the one negative comment out of 100 is the one that you will remember. And I totally have that sort of mindset too.

But I don't know, I think there's something that Things that are like, so embarrassing about this book anyway. It's like, oh, it's like in livejournal format. It's like a diary. Like at some point I did kind of just kind of let it go.

Emily: 00:21:29

How much I know a lot of people always assume an author is the same as their characters. How similar are you to Ellora or how much of yourself did you put into her?

Kristen: 00:21:37

I think, you know, I think, yeah, that's like. I guess I'm never, I'm never beating the allegations that I am Ellora, as I've said.

But I think a lot of it, I'm similar in that, like, I think like, her like, voice, ish.

That's kind of like either more me as like a teenager or I think kind of like what I probably imagined my voice was like as a teenager is probably a lot more melodramatic and less like quippy and you know, similar attitudes towards things. But I think that, I mean the book itself is like mostly fictional. Like it.

There's things that like reflect my own upbringing in life, but there's no like scene that is like one to one that like happened. Right. And yeah. So I think that even though like people can people say that they like see aspects of me in that character, it's like still very.

A very crafted character and narrative that makes sense.

Emily: 00:22:20

I'm curious, of course, as a marketer, I have to ask, how did you use social media to promote your novel and what did you find was effective when you did the uh.

Kristen: 00:22:27

Yeah, I think for me the Shabby Dollhouse. When we did the tour, we did a lot of promotion for the tour. A lot of like, like flyers and stuff, I think stories, Instagram posts.

I also have like my own substack, so things like that. But I, you know, you honestly, you never really know. Like, I guess it, it worked and that people showed up to our events, people bought books.

But I still to this day, like, I don't really know. Like, and I think all of publishing is dealing with this question. What exactly makes someone pick up a book and buy it and, and read it? Right.

So I don stuff like necessarily work the most, you know, and I had like some good press in some like exciting places. But it's a good thing for like your resume. But does it actually result in more people buying and reading the book? I don't know.

Emily: 00:23:11

Actually working with an indie publisher, do you have a lot of insight into your sales numbers? Like do you get regular reports and updates and stuff?

Kristen: 00:23:19

Yeah, I don't get regular person. But like sometimes she'll just tell me, right? You know, and like, you know, it's doing well for like a good indie book. But you know, I don't.

And like sometimes she'll just be like, yeah, two people bought the books in Australia. Where did they hear about the book? You know, like, or something like that, you know, but. But yeah, that's the thing that you wonder, like, why.

What made them choose to do that? Right. I think that's the question that everybody's trying to figure out in how to market a book.

Emily: 00:23:40

Yeah. The big world of the internet is a mysterious place still, for sure.

I know so many people are leading into Instagram reels and authors are doing reels or memes or carousels and photo dumps. Do you. I know you haven't really leaned into reels.

Is there anything you're like, man, I really should have been doing that, but I just couldn't make myself do it.

Kristen: 00:23:57

Yeah, I don't know. I think I feel like, for reals, I'm never gonna be the type of, like, the TikTok style that likes me talking to the camera.

I just don't feel that that's me. But, like, I do think I could maybe do more interesting things with video. Like more of, like, a short film type thing. So never say never.

I think maybe could do it for something future.

Emily: 00:24:16

I enjoyed when we did our little interview for TikTok.

Kristen: 00:24:18

That was amazing.

Emily: 00:24:18

But that's very different than just, like, you sitting down by yourself facing the camera.

Kristen: 00:24:22

Exactly, yeah. Just talking to. Talking to no one, I guess. Yeah.

Emily: 00:24:25

Yeah. Well, you mentioned working at Substack as well. Um, well, you didn't mention working there. You said you have a substack.

But I do want to talk about your work at Substack. Um, I think we'll revisit that after a short break, though.

Emily: 00:25:08

All right, Kristen. So Substack is a whole other can of worms.

I don't know if we would technically classify it as a social media, but they do have those substack notes. In your work at Substack, how do you see that as fitting into, like, the larger online ecosystem of social media and beyond?

Kristen: 00:25:23

I think, like, a lot like. I think it kind of started as more like, long form, like, writing.

Like, it has originally had a reputation as, like, a newsletter platform and just like, kind of like, you know, kind of like a longer piece that you would write. But now it's expanded into everything.

We have podcasts, we have videos, and, yeah, we have, like, notes, which is, you know, like, is more the feed, it's more like the short form. But so far, what I've seen there, you know, everything could take a turn.

But I think, like, that right now, because it is very oriented towards, like. Like the substack community. Things tend to be a lot more, like, civil on there than.

Than other platforms where, you know, I think you kind of have a little bit of more of accountability because you're a publisher yourself, right? You're not just some, like, anonymous, like, you know, person that's hiding behind, like, a fake user icon that could say anything.

Emily: 00:26:11

So, yeah, that notes section of Substack is really interesting. And sometimes when I'm bored, I'm like, scrolling through there.

And it's not like super chronological, but I'm always like seeing a lot of things that I enjoy and agree with for the most part. And I'm like discovering interesting people.

Do you think that Substack Notes would be a good replacement for like the Twitter or threads or Bluesky kind of versions of things? The text onlys?

Kristen: 00:26:33

I should say yes.

Kristen: 00:26:33

But I think also, like, you know, I don't necessarily think that anything is like a replacement for anything.

Like, I think that's kind of been the struggle with like, sort of like, I'm not really gonna do Blue sky because it's just kind of like I don't need to like build that up all over again there. So I think everything is kind of going to be sort of of like in an ecosystem with other things. Like, I don't think even.

We don't want to just be just notes. Right. You want to have like notes to be like sort of more a short form thing that you're doing alongside your. Your.

Your longer form thing and, and that kind of thing and just, you know, be different ways that you talk to about your own communities.

Emily: 00:27:07

I tend to find there's not a ton of toxicity on there, or at least not yet.

Kristen: 00:27:12

Yeah, that's what I mean. There's not, there's not too much of that.

Emily: 00:27:14

The civility is really nice and refreshing. Um, do you think it's gonna continue in that vein because of the publisher identity being, or do you think it could go off the rails like any other?

Kristen: 00:27:24

I mean, I hope so. You know, I think I, I definitely want a more like, civil type, like, conversation, you know, and once again, I think we also.

It also like welcomes debate. Right. Which is very different than just sort of being, you know, unnecessarily mean or bullying to each other. So I hope it continues in that.

Just where it's like, it's like discourse. Not in like the way that we think about discourse, but actual discourse and like conversation and stuff.

But I don't know, I mean, it's like also like, like there's a lot more people. A lot more people know about it now than in the back. So there's like in the. A few years ago. So there's going to be more and more people coming.

And with growth does come its own challenges, which sometimes is the trolls.

Emily: 00:28:01

That'll be interesting to see how it keeps evolving.

Kristen: 00:28:03

Exactly.

Emily: 00:28:04

Beyond just substack, what do you think the future of social media holds?

Kristen: 00:28:08

I don't know. I think we're kind of really at an interesting time. Right.

Like, I think that, I mean, I don't want it to go away because then, like, I lose, like, the small, you know, audience I have in there. But, like, it kind of surprises me that we're still, like, on Instagram, right? Like, that something else hasn't come along, you know, or, like, I.

I kind of feel that it's, it's. We're at a place where we don't. We think that, like, social media people are maybe, like, a little bit tired of it or, like, get going off of it.

So I don't know. I think.

I think if something really radical comes along, I think it's going to be something that, you know, is totally different and we've never experienced before. Right. Like, that's why, like, TikTok tok was such a thing. Right? Because it wasn't like any.

When it came around, it wasn't like any platform that we've seen before, and that's why people were really drawn to it.

Emily: 00:28:51

I'm so tired of this era of every social media company trying to copy the other companies, and Instagram's got reels now trying to be just like TikTok. They just released a video editor called Edits that's making. It's like CapCut, basically, which is the ByteDance, TikTok, owned company.

Kristen: 00:29:05

Yeah.

Emily: 00:29:06

It's just an endless circle of copying each other, and I want something fresh. I'd be like, totally open to that.

Kristen: 00:29:11

I think, like, you know, if TikTok goes down or whatever happens, like, the next successful thing isn't going to be the. The imitator of TikTok. It's going to be something that, like, I can't even put into words because.

Emily: 00:29:19

It'S something so different, so hard to predict.

Kristen: 00:29:21

We shall see.

Emily: 00:29:22

Only time will tell. So with Log off, you do have some parents in the book. This podcast is about parenthood as well, occasionally.

And I'm curious how you approached writing the Brian character, who's the ex boyfriend of Ellora's mom and becomes her guardian.

Kristen: 00:29:37

So I think, like, my friend Tim and I, who also designed the book, we kind of this, like, trope that we really like that's kind of like this, like, charismatic but irresponsible adult has to kind of take on this, like, surrogate parent role for, like, a precocious child.

And they have, like, an interesting dynamic because usually, like, the adults kind of messed up in some way and, you know, kind of whether they're gonna be a great parent or not is a concern. And it Crosses like all genres. You can see it in many, many different movies, different TV shows, books and genres.

And so wanting to write a tribute to that in this book.

But I think also wanting to write like, I think in like coming of age stories a lot of times I don't really like how the parents are portrayed because they're kind of very flat or cartoony or like seen as like kind of authoritarian figures. That's just not true. Right.

You know, like, so I really wanted to have a character that was like a parent figure that kind of grew alongside the protagonist who's obviously growing and coming of age. And.

And another thing that I wanted to do is like, he's like kind of mysterious to her for like various reasons in the way that like I think like a reg, you know, like a biological parent maybe would not be. But I think in just general, I think I wanted to have the perspective where it's like as a kid I was just like so curious about adults. Right.

Like, and she has that too about like teachers and stuff that she's always.

It's like because you're, as a teenager you kind of get that there's more going on and they're complex and flawed, but you, you don't completely always understand what their motivations are.

Emily: 00:31:03

Are. That's such a good point too about how authoritarian parents can be in YA novels or novels in general. Like I'm reading a graphic novel right now.

That's great. But it is like a very authoritarian mom and very flat and one dimensional. Like there's not a lot of depth to her.

Kristen: 00:31:17

And like, are their parents like that? I don't think so.

Emily: 00:31:20

Yeah, everyone's multidimensional. We're all human. Gotta humanize the parents too, 100%.

And at my age I felt so funny reading Log Off because I was like identifying more with Brian at times than with.

Kristen: 00:31:30

I think that's very common. Yeah.

Emily: 00:31:33

I'm curious what Brian was like doing on the internet when Ellora wasn't using the computer to go on LiveJournal.

Kristen: 00:31:38

I don't know, it seems like I kind of get the sense that in the book he's like very offline, right. Like where, you know, he, he doesn't seem to be using the computer that's in their house.

So he's probably just used it like for his like job and minimal emails, you know, and, and doesn't really like, isn't really like online much. But I think as we like discussed in like a previous conversation, I think it'll be interesting to see what happens in 20 years, right?

Like, he's the one being like, what's with this internet? You know, like, stay off of it.

But then, you know, in 20 years, she's probably going to be the one being like, "don't read that thing that you saw on Facebook. It's not true. Why are you looking at this, like, AI slop video? It's not real" that kind of stuff.

Emily: 00:32:12

Elon Musk did not actually bring home a baby from the hospital that had no parents.

Kristen: 00:32:16

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Emily: 00:32:18

Was he like, Googling or Ask Jeeves-ing anything, do you think? Or just like, totally offline with.

Kristen: 00:32:23

Oh, that's so funny. Like, yeah, there's no, there's no Google in the era of log off. It is like altavista or Ask Gene. So, yeah, I don't know. I think, like.

Like, I think the. When we talked about this is like, is he like, Googling, like, how to be a good parent?

Maybe, Though I think in line with his character, I think maybe he wouldn't be Googling that. He'd probably be just asking, like, a female friend, a colleague of his, like, for advice.

Emily: 00:32:46

I was thinking too of like, the skateboarding stuff he does in the one scene I'm like, oh, maybe he's watching, like, skate videos on YouTube.

Kristen: 00:32:51

But YouTube doesn't exist. YouTube doesn't exist. Yeah, YouTube doesn't exist either.

Emily: 00:32:55

Did you have to, like, fact check yourself a lot when you were writing that because you forget what came out when?

Kristen: 00:32:59

Kind of. Yeah. I mean, like, there, you know, it's not a deep bre.

But it was like light research where you're, like, looking at, you know, like, making sure that. That, like, there's like some.

There's a time when she, like, looks some stuff up and you don't want to mention Google or anything or even, like, especially, like, the songs and stuff. Like a song couldn't have come out and things like that.

Emily: 00:33:16

I'm curious. I don't know if, you know, like, Stephenie Meyer had written a Twilight spinoff that was from Edward's perspective. It was called Midnight Sun.

What if you wrote Log Off from Brian's perspective? What about the story would be different?

Kristen: 00:33:30

I don't know. I think. I'm not sure you'd want to read that book because he spends a lot of time of the book being quite depressed.

So it's not really something that's like. It's accurate for adults, but it is very accurate for adults, so it's relatable. So, yeah, I don't know. That would probably be that.

But I think it's funny that you mentioned that you're like, oh, I find myself relating more to Brian. And I think that's common, too, for a couple reasons. Like, one, it's, like, the only adult character, so it's just like.

Like, as an adult reader, that you would relate to.

But I think also, like, a lot of parents probably, like, a little bit do sometimes, too, and, like, have like, a different perspective than I thought.

Like, my friend Carly, she's a great mom, and, you know, like, so she would never do some of the stuff that, like, Brian does in the book in terms of, like, being irresponsible. She. Her attitude was just like, give this guy a break. Like, it's like, it's really hard. Like, why is, like, like, Laura so hard on him?

And I was like, I did not expect you to have that perspective. But you're de. She's definitely having that perspective because she's a mom. Right? You know?

Emily: 00:34:25

Yeah, totally.

And I feel like there are probably some red flags with Ellora that, like, most parents would notice, and maybe Brian was a little too depressed to pick up on. So I'm, like, worrying about her as I read it. Like, oh, girl, are you good.

Kristen: 00:34:36

Yeah, that's definitely. That's definitely true. True. But, yeah, I don't know. I think.

And then I think it's also, like, because we're adult readers, you can kind of pick up on things that are going on with both herself or, like, with Brian. Probably more before she can. Right. You know, because you just feel more perceptive.

Emily: 00:34:50

That makes sense. I'm curious about her mom. I don't know if you've, like, thought at all about the future for Ellora and her mom.

Was there any chance that, like, they would reconnect via the Internet someday?

Kristen: 00:35:02

Yeah, I feel that's a great question, because I think, like, the answer is yes, inevitably. Because I think something that's also interesting about when the book takes place, it's kind of like, I always think it's, like, interesting.

s, the early: 2000

And I think it is, like, still believable that she's actually just kind of disappeared. I don't think that would be as much of a believable plot in like 20, 25.

And so probably she does connect with her and, like, find her and maybe through the Internet later on when the Internet becomes more advanced.

But as to whether that happens, you know, six months after the book or 10 years after the book, I feel that's what people would imagine, like, readers, how they imagine. But I probably does.

Emily: 00:35:56

Maybe it's a 23andMe DNA test.

Kristen: 00:35:58

Exactly.

Emily: 00:35:59

"Someone's in your area."

Kristen: 00:36:00

Yeah, I forgot about that. That's a whole thing. Yeah. Yeah.

Emily: 00:36:04

Did you, like, have anything in mind of where Ellora's mom went when you were writing that you just didn't include in the novel?

Kristen: 00:36:09

I kind of explored some of those ideas, but I think that it wasn't. Yeah, I think, like, kind of making it more unknown is like. Is better where it's like. So that's like. It's not sort of.

The story doesn't necessarily center around, like, what happened to her mom. Right.

Emily: 00:36:26

And then readers can fill in the blank with any of their own emotions or experiences.

Kristen: 00:36:29

Exactly right.

Emily: 00:36:30

It's so funny to think about Brian, like, being just a boyfriend of this woman who disappeared and then just inheriting a kid for six years. Like, I can't imagine having that level of responsibility dumped on you and just, like, taking on this child.

Kristen: 00:36:43

Yeah. There's a lot of responsibility, though. I think in the book it's explained that they lived together as a family for two or three years. So he was.

And more so than in the current events of the book, he was probably a more responsible stepfather figure. Then it kind of all goes badly when, obviously the mom leaves and they're both devastated.

Emily: 00:37:03

I'm sure there's a lot of grief to that, too. Losing, as if your partner died because they're just gone so suddenly with no explanation. And brutal, rough.

So Brian's got skateboarding that he shows off some fun tricks. In the novel, do you skate at all or do you have any other hobbies?

Kristen: 00:37:22

I wish I skateboarded! I think skateboarding is so cool. But I might be past my time to learn that now.

It sounds sad, but I don't really have any hobbies that are, like, not just, like, writing and reading. I don't know. I like traveling a lot. I like going places usually. Luckily, I have a remote job, so that makes that easy too. I usually like.

Like, probably go somewhere, whether it's for work or for writing thing or just to see friends like, once a month.

Emily: 00:37:46

That's great. That's.

Kristen: 00:37:47

So that's my hobby.

Emily: 00:37:48

Yeah. Reading is, like, my only hobby also. I always tease myself about that, that it's the only thing I do.

Is there anything you like to do in the summer in Rochester that you're really looking forward to?

Kristen: 00:37:57

I will say so because we had that tour last year. I was out of Rochester a lot over the summer.

And I'm really looking forward to it being different this year where I might be here more this summer because that's like the best months. Right.

We have such, so, such a slim window of good weather that I'd really like to actually just be here hanging out, doing summer stuff, going on walks, because you cannot do that sometimes in the darker months.

Emily: 00:38:20

Rochester summers really are the best and make it all kind of worth it.

Kristen: 00:38:23

Yes.

Emily: 00:38:23

And I'm sure I'll see you out for walks around the neighborhood.

Kristen: 00:38:25

I know. Yes. I'll look forward to that.

Emily: 00:38:27

Can't wait. And thanks for coming on the show today, Kristen.

Kristen: 00:38:30

Thank you, Emily.

Narrator: 00:38:33

This has been a presentation of the Lunchador Podcast Network.